Uranus Retrograde- Acid Trip

Effective Date: July 29th- December 29th (Shadow period til April 15th 2017)

Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” -J.K. Rowling

Helios  Helios’ Astrological Angle on Uranus Retrograde: Hey, so you know how one of the things you’ve been clinging to is “Thank god I haven’t lost my marbles completely in these insane times?” Well, I have a bit of bad news on that front…

Yes, everyone’s favorite crotchety old grandpa of the cosmos, Uranus, is throwing it in reverse (insert obligatory rear end joke here), to a chorus of groans from a long-suffering public filled to the brim with nihilistic ennui. As if we didn’t have ENOUGH to deal with right now, now we have to have everyone thinking that we have gone completely insane (which is, of course, a totally natural reaction to the days we live in) on top of it all. Well, the good news here is that it’s exactly what you need, at just the right time.

You see, Uranus rules insanity- He runs on it like Mercury does anxiety, or Mars on piss & vinegar. The mundane and the stagnant are his downfall. He exists primarily to turn the cosmic snowglobe upside down and give it a good shake, by any means necessary (kind of like an astrological Strom Thurmond!) and typically with no better reason than “for funsies”. Kinder astrologers than I will call him eclectic, or revolutionary- And he is, but typically he has no overarching plot or plan, he honestly just loves dancing in the fire as the world burns; He is literally just a madman, armed with the power to change your life irrevocably in an instant.

My own issues with Uranus/Aquarius and mental illness aside, ditching the tether of sanity can be a boon, if you work it right. It can give you a new perspective on the areas of your life that have been blocked, where you have been running up against a wall. It’ll give you new concepts to try out, ones that you never would have thought of in a million years otherwise. Sure, at first glance they will make NO sense whatsoever, least of all to you, but try working with them- what do you honestly have to lose at this point?

Speaking of what you have to lose, this transit will make any toxic or unworkable situation INTERMINABLE. You will no longer be able to stand it, it will chafe you. This is made doubly so because of our girl Eris, who is most definitely still in the mix (and I shake with more and more fear daily as our predictions for that one come closer and closer to becoming reality). The thing is though, Uranus will do everything possible to avoid a fight, including fighting for what you once wanted. No, Uranus’ urge is to just call it and drop it, out of sight out of mind- This applies to all stagnant issues, whether they be situations or relationships; friend, foe or family (Especially family in my experience). So as Uranus does, so you are wont to do as well. The more you try and fight this urge, the more you will suffer. You need to go ahead and give yourself permission to leave these situations in your rear-view now, because it can be hard to see the reality in the thick of it. You are absolutely allowed to ditch anything that lessens you, anything where you feel stuck or like you are wasting your time- You don’t owe anyone besides the bank!

Artemis  Artemis’ Tarot Take on Uranus Retrograde-

“But I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.” – Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

Cards:  Death, 5 of Wands, 8 of Wands

Helios calls me the “Uranus Expert” around here (probably because I am a quadruple Aquarian nutjob).  I am, very much so, a Uranian girl.  Chaos stalks beside me like my shadow, and it has taught me lessons only dark gods could.  Uranus teaches harsh, quick, scarring lessons that make you feel a fool for ever thinking your perceptions were true.  Happiness?  Smash.  Peace?  Smash.  Victory?  Smash.  Death.  The trick is to roll with the punches and get comfortable with death, for things need to die and new things need to be born for evolution to occur (another facet of Uranus).  Trust me, it is a good thing to learn lessons harshly – as much as it might feel like someone emptied a shotgun into your chest.  In order to get the shackles of the Grand Illusion off of us, we need to swing hard and harsh.

Do you want to know a great depiction of Uranus?  The Joker; pure madness blazing through, blowing up banks, institutions, and hitting onlookers with stray bullets because chaos doesn’t care who you are.  Chaos comes and finds you wherever you may be.  You could be sitting anywhere, safe and sound, and chaos will find a way of creeping in.  It will jar you, it will shock you, and it will rearrange you.  The key is to take the dramatic lesson you have learned and willingly change from it.  If you fight it, if you try and make sense of it, it will eat you alive.  It is senseless.  It is primordial.  It is wild.  You cannot tame it with your rationality.  And in Aries, which we all know is the driving force of impulse, Uranus is directly channeling the initial khaos needed to birth a new world.  When we explained Neptune Retrograde to you lovely individuals, I spoke of how the first Octave of the planets ends with Saturn, and the new Octave begins with Uranus.  The world is changing and re-birthing, my friends, and the change is going to be revolutionary.

Do you want to know another great depiction of Uranus?  Tesla.  I write this piece on Nikola Tesla’s birthday, amazed by the elastic mind of such a great man.  The Visionary was a perfect example of the inventive nature of Uranus; Uranus and Pluto were situated in his first house.  5 of Wands.  When one is playful, when one is flowing with the change like a dancer – be it a dance of pain or bliss – Uranus is pleased.  He will channel you with insights like flashes of lightning.  If you fight him, he will bring you madness.

We Aquarians always get depicted as a chilly scientist coldly observing human nature.  They call us perverse because of our curiosity, and they call us voyeurs because of it as well (hey, we’re just taking notes).  We, by nature, know that the world is full of unusual and eccentric things that, once we come into contact with, will blast us off into new worlds of perception.  Well, Uranus is very concerned with every perception of reality.  You must play with your perceptions in order to grow and learn.  Change of perception also teaches you what structures of reality were True and which were false towers ready to crumble.  If you aren’t changing, you are dying, and there are only two constants in this world; death and change.  Cancer will kill you because that particular clumping of cells refuses to change and die.

Aquarius rules the tributaries, the circulatory and nervous systems of the body – it spreads and seeps through the paths of least resistance to get as much information and energy out there as possible; like lightening.  Uranus and Aquarius rule technology, which gives us even less resistance (which meets new resistances, which forces us to change once again).  Whenever Uranus goes into retrograde (and then swings back out), massive technological advances occur.  Think augmented reality.  Think transhumanism and attempts at further modifications of reality.  We have to keep a keen eye out right now, because Uranus usually does things without thinking too much about them.  I mean, that is necessary – sometimes we shouldn’t think at all and just act from our instincts.  But we must always retain the checks.  Thankfully Saturn will be going direct soon, so the changes that will take place will be for a very strong purpose.  They may not LOOK that way at first, but the pieces will fall together and you will see clearly the grand plan.

This brings us to the 8 of Wands and our warning.  It’s going to get a lot overwhelming, guys.  You think we have had insanity?  We haven’t had insanity just yet.  Uranus conj Eris was a trigger point, all of the blood moons leading up to it were trigger points, the grand cross was another trigger point, and now Uranus retrograding will put the damn cherry on top.  Expect more political upheavals.  Uranus definitely rules that (being the planet of Revolution, after all).  And Eris hanging out with him right now is going to make things that much more rebellious.  We can’t fucking take it anymore!  We are crawling in our skin and the sickness of society has gotten to the point where we can’t ignore it anymore.  The visions will come quickly, messages will come quickly, insight will pummel you and overwhelm you.  Go.  With.  The.  Punches.  It is only going to get more violent from here on out.  It’s best to remove that malignancy below the surface with a knife than to let it grow and kill you.

The last time that Eris/Uranus were conj was in 1932 (also the date of the formation of the Nazi party).  It is now 2016.  For those of you into numerology, what do you get when you divide 32 by 2?  16.  And what is 16 in the Tarot (and the name of this god forsaken year)?  The Tower.  Let the towers crumble, my friends.  Let them fall and see what is standing when they do, because after this year, nothing is ever going to be the same again.

“It’s an open ceremony and we all start the same
Cells grow to cellphone, some form stars
Some get put in cells, sex fucking sells
Know you know the drill so hear me sound the bell
You use new keys to type old deeds
Set up by old needs, what world peace?
What was in ya read? Yeah what was in ya feed?
Who do you get to with your internet lead?
Things do change and change can have range
System shouldn’t operate by sticking me in a cage

Ain’t Dalai Lama
Ain’t Sai Baba
My words are my armor and you’re about to meet your karma”  – M.I.A., Karmageddon