6
Jan

Fuckstrology: Capri-horny

Helios– Oh man, we have both been WAITING to do this one. Capricorn is such a complex sign, and its natives are wild and irresistible. Capricorn has a reputation for being restrained and demure, but that’s only their public persona. Behind closed doors, it gets very 50 shades of grey, very quickly. The obvious joke is that Capricorns love bondage, but I have found that they really get into roleplay. Anything profession related to be sure, but they also really like escorts. For some reason the thought of paying a stranger to slap around their naughty bits is incredibly appealing to these guys, and when I was an escort I loved it. Great tippers, Capricorns! More on that in Pisces season.

Okay, now that THAT’S out of the way, lets get to the good bit. Gather round kiddies, because you are all about to hear Helios’ origin story as an Astrologer. I’ve said before that I started doing this for the absolute worst reasons, and a Capricorn was to blame. Let me explain. My senior year of high school, while my friends were picking out colleges and sneaking drinks at house parties, I had come down with a debilitating sickness. As I do, I hid it from everyone and tried to power through rather than get help and very nearly didn’t graduate. After I shambled across that stage and got my diploma, a shell of my former self at half my weight, I was able to get surgery which only treated the symptoms and pumped me full of more drugs than was sane (not to mention the ones that I got after the surgery). So there I was, barely 18, down an organ and with a newfound pill addiction. I fell in with a bad group of friends, (see here and here) and slowly but surely they took me further down the rabbit hole of debauchery.

At the end of that road was my Capricorn ex. Lets call him D. God, he was beautiful, in the way Lucifer must have been before the fall. A harsh and cold beauty, all edges and angles- inapproachable. He was a Capricorn Sun, Scorpio Moon and had Libra rising. He could work a room and manipulate people in ways I had never seen. He was a drug kingpin in our area, and I reaped the fruits of that. He could slit your throat with a smile on his face and you would gurgle out a thank you with your dying breath. He was that good. We would do things like abandon our jobs for random trips to Boston, or Miami. I learned so much from him, but I lost about two years doing it, in a drug addled haze. To try and stay one step ahead and penetrate his inscrutable mind, I picked up astrology. I began obsessing over every single bit of it that I could find, devouring books and articles at a breakneck pace. Within three months I was an expert. In five months I was writing it. Focusing on that helped me break his spell. I was able to wake up and get on track. Astrology saved my life, and it has taken me to this point. Sure, I had a detour through an apocalypse cult, but that’s for Taurus season!

Artemis-  At first I tried to resist.  She was about to go through boot camp and that was definitely a perfect restriction.  The government would take her away and I wouldn’t need to fight myself anymore.  But she was persistent.

Then came boot camp, and then came college and we were torn a part right in the middle of our passionate affair.  She kept sending me letters, she kept calling me, and I kept falling harder and harder for her.  Once boot camp was over, she still had to remain at the military base for her training (this is where the story gets truly Capricorn).  She shot through her ranks extremely quickly (Cappy fo’ real) and learned the system thoroughly.  She convinced one of her friends to let me borrow her extra uniform, and she had it delivered to me by a non-military friend.  At the time, I was in ROTC at my university, so I knew the formalities by heart.  I put on my suit of armor, a crisp uniform, held my breath, and walked onto base.  I know this is HIGHLY illegal, but it was fucking exhilarating as fuck.  So, you know, obviously hawt.  I gave my salutes.  Heart pounding, I made my way to her living quarters and she quickly shut the door behind her and proceeded to engage in some truly sexy role-play.

Capricorn is the eroticism of bureaucracy.  The sexiness of Saturn; restriction, tension, rules, consequences.  Of course a Capricorn would find the entire situation I was in highly arousing.  The adrenaline I was pumped with made the situation all the more thrilling.  This event began 3 years of intensely passionate, equally exhilarating sexual encounters with the Capricorn.  But fuck, my addiction to Cap energy didn’t stop there.  You have to prove yourself to a Capricorn.  You have to show them you can constantly perform, and the Mars in Taurus in me is just too stubborn to not rise up to a challenge.  Sometimes I felt like the cat, sometimes I felt like the mouse, but I always felt engaged and challenged.  This is probably why I kept having sex with my Capricorn ex up to a year after we broke up.
It was a test of my will the entire time.  I had to continuously pry open this Capricorn’s defenses so that she let me in.  But oh gosh, when she let me in, it was explosively passionate.

The tension just let the passion build, like a structure in itself, exponentially growing as we both challenged each other to do better – dig deeper – push harder.  Capricorn is an earth sign, and naturally possesses a high sex drive and an intense connection to their body.  The problem is, they feel they need to reign in all of the intensity behind their stony exterior.  They don’t want to lose.  They don’t want to be taken advantage of.  So they require a little… work.  So it was essentially a battle of Aqua vs Capricorn, and it got more than a bit agonizingly icy.  Prove to me that you’re worth my time.. my attention…  It was addictive for my ego, and the longer our relationship went on – the kinkier our sex lives got.  It started with intensely passionate letter writing, went through an expansive list of experimentation, and ended with her fucking an Aries behind my back.  It really was wonderful hearing her beg to have what we had back, but once the trust is broken – without trust of devotion, what Capricorn wanted to give me, that sort of intense sexuality, it’s fires could not be sustained.

What are the stereotypes?   Capricorn is related to the Devil card in the Tarot; meaning a lover of contracts, binding, tying up, crops, chains, and making sexiness out of restrictive situations.  In the Devil card, there are two humans who are willingly wearing loose chains.  That is exactly what being in a sexual relationship with a Capricorn is like; you choose to be their thrall.  And you do it willingly!  I mean, Caps are notoriously mind blowing in bed because of their ability to reign it back until just the right moments.  They know the power of biding your time – of playing the long game and making the tension build into a crescendo.  I mean, how can you say no when they demand so nicely?

 

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