Effective Date: April 11th, 2017
Helios– Welcome, dear Heretics, to the Royal Retrograde Rumble stream! Except this isn’t a stream and everything’s on fire. The current retrograde count is at Four= Mercury, Venus, Jupiter and Saturn, with Pluto on deck. With all of these planets at cross-purposes, and having no clue as to what it is that they truly want, not to mention taking place against the backdrop of the Cardinal Signs, how in the world are we expected to survive, let alone thrive? Well, there is only one planet we can turn to- The Moon in Libra. Yes, Heretics; It’s a good day for Diplomacy. I know, I just vomited as at the idea of relying on Libra as well. Gods help us.
Artemis- This one is already pissing me off and it’s still a few days away. It seems that at every turn we are finding new enemies, death and destruction, imbalance and chaos. That’s Uranus/Eris/Mercury Rx/The Sun bombarding Jupiter Rx and the Moon, giving us no safe place to hide. Well, that’s because this is not the fucking time to hide, Heretics. As we warned you during the Aries New Moon, you are in the middle of a battlefield and the punches wont stop just because you are tired. If you want to live long and prosper, you must seek exactly what these horrible events are attempting to teach you; for their lessons are here to give you a greater competence. Without the consequence of falling off the training line, the tight rope walker could never scale higher feats. “Adjustment,” that will be your mantra for this full moon. If the tight rope walker rolled around like a sorry ass soccer player every time they fell, they wouldn’t be able to craft new instincts into their body to be able to master their craft. Bless the oppositions, Heretics, for without them and learning their lessons – and being able to grasp both at once – we couldn’t get to the center of things (aka Truth and Understanding). It is not the smartest or the strongest creature that evolves. It is the one most adapt to change. It is the one that adjusts.
The Sun, Moon, Mars and Uranus– Well this is an… interesting combination. One thing that strikes me right off the bat is that this whole Lunation is very light on Minor Planet action. In fact, the Sun and Moon only have one contact- The Transneptunian named Chaos. That should tell you everything you need to know about this Full Moon… but since its literally my job to explain I might as well expound on that! That particular Chaos is only overwhelming and random strife if it is not given a purpose. When it is focused and directed, it is realized as the pure potential of the absolute. Put plainly, the disruption you feel is actually an opportunity to reshape your life as you see fit. If you harness the bold energy of Aries Season in the midst of all the seeming confusion and choose to create instead of turn the destructive energies on yourself and others, then you will find the peace and success that you crave. This time demands action, not indolence.
Since we’re talking about action, lets address Mars and Uranus; The fact that both of them are presenting a united front on this Moon means that this is a wakeup call of the highest order– you’ve been smashing the snooze button for years, and you are about to be late if you don’t jump out of that comfortable rest and get your ass into gear NOW. Guys, you have been milking this whole victim routine for a while, and it’s gotten old. Suck it up, buttercup, and get to work- You have plenty of time since whatever knocked you off your path happened, and no one is giving you any more pity. It’s not enough to ride on potential anymore, now you have to prove your worth. You have your battle plan, now put it into action already!
The Sun (The Star), Moon (King of Cups), Mars (Empress), and Uranus (7 of Swords)– So here is our issue, Heretics, we are inserting war into our lives for a reason that is not immediate to us (Uranus as the 7 of Swords). We want to eradicate all the slights and the uncomfortable situations, so we either set ourselves on fire for revenge or drown ourselves in the waters of guilt. Could this be because we are all afraid we are going to lose some sort of freedom if we do not seek justice in our relations with others? Do we feel that somehow we will be caged if others think ill of us and our path, even though they live in their own ignorance? This is hard for a lot of people to swallow, but Justice is an idealism and ideal states do not exist outside of the conceptual. Unfortunately, Heretics, we live in a “fallen” world where Eden is no longer possible due to who we innately are. The universe works in waves, tic toc, back and forth, and balancing and re-balancing is eternal.
One must see peace inside of war and war inside of peace, like a yin yang, in order to see that both at the micro and the macro they must be balanced in order for life to continue. “Justice and Peace,” if you’re looking for them, can only be found in yourself and in your relation to self because they are wholly subjective concepts. And once you grasp it, like the wind, it is gone and you must chase it again. But it is this eternal hope at obtaining “Eden” once again that we continue to love. We get glimpses of it in the midst of laughter with friends, a longing kiss from a lover, or the explosion of our heart in the sight of nature’s grace. But we also realize that the beauty of these instances is their mortality as well, and being cast down from “heaven” into the “earthly realm” is the only reason we can have “freedom.” Eternal peace is also eternal stagnation. Heaven is just as frozen as Hell, and the center playing ground that is Earth is the envy of all the gods.
Honestly, Heretics, “I fuck with myself more than anybody else” (alla Saint Banks). And once we realize this, we can finally feel at ease being ourselves. Without the eternal war inside of you, there would be absolutely no change. There is not a single human being on this planet that doesn’t feel they are in exile from something – be it love, be it prosperity, be it whatever the fuck, we all believe we are being cast out of some club we desperately want to be in. This is also so that we may strive, Heretics. There is fertility in this strife (Mars as Empress). We can only grow the grains if we break the soil to till, and it takes constant attention to obtain fruition. And once we make the bread and eat it, we are back in the fields again. I know it is hard, Heretics. I know. But you must be thankful for the heart break, and you must be thankful for the slights and punches you take daily, because it is these very things that bring you the joy of mutual friendship, of heroic aid, of “miracles.” It is the mixture of oppositions that creates the possibility for existence – of time and of experience -and although it may seem counter intuitive to bless your “enemies,” they are the very reason for the existence of your “friends.” Funny to think of those fucks as your spiritual allies, but truly, love the haters, Heretics 🙂 What’s a hero without a villain?
Mercury– Socrates is quoted as saying “The ancient oracle said that I was the wisest of all the Greeks. It is because I alone, of all the Greeks, know that I know nothing.” Well, you pompous and self-aggrandizing ass, we are the Modern Oracles, and in the 21st century you really have to know exactly who you are. Mercury is wasting no time in ripping what you thought you knew about yourself to shreds, and he has a good reason for it- You are becoming something greater than you have been. Now is the time to allow yourself to evolve, even though from your perspective it looks like your death has come for you at last. If you stop trying to make things happen for yourself then they will stop happening. This is a time to trust in yourself first and foremost. Trust in the process of your evolution and allow no one to stop your progress.
Mercury (4 of Swords)- It’s transmutation time, Heretics, and this dose of medicine is being administered by our retrograding buddy Mercury. Let the mistakes and miscommunication transform you, refine you, turn you from a caterpillar to something truly beautiful and free from the things that damaged you. As the philosopher Sartre said, “Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” Mercury will be opposing Jupiter in Rx in Libra from his early station in Taurus (dangerously close to Aries everything is on fucking Fire land), so we are truly re-evaluating our mental faculties when it comes to partnerships of all kinds. How do we want to go about it this next time, after all the suffering we have had to go through for trusting in all the wrong ways? Mercury will be sitting just on the outskirts of Aries, so he is able to rest… if only for a moment. And in this rest, he is able to integrate. This will be a time of great change for your mind, as you digest everything shit as fuck going on around you and let it transform you into a new version of yourself that is far more capable of handling the truths of the world that have been presented to you. It’s time for a mental weapons upgrade, Heretics, because your sword wasn’t sharp enough the first time.
Venus and Saturn– Category is… Butch qween, first time in drags at the ball! For the vast majority of you who don’t understand that reference, these two have HAD IT. They’ve had it with each other, themselves, and most of all with absolutely everyone and everything else that exists in this world. We are showing our strain, and we are fraying at the edges. This Lunation shows that we have all gone waaaaaaay past the straw that broke the camels back, and the question is where to go from here? There are only two options for us- Fall into despair and despondency, or keep going and find a way to make it work. So in truth we have only one option, when you get right down to it. Saturn won’t let us stop, not for anything- but even as we go along our road, we have to remember what it is that truly matters to us, why we are doing all of this in the first place. Venus tells us that all of this has a purpose, that her retrograde has yet to reveal. Keep the faith.
Venus (The Chariot) and Saturn (8 of Wands)- These two jerks… They are both sure moving fucking fast with the cards they chose! They don’t have time for our human drama because they are trying to get us somewhere… Where are they taking us? Fuck if I know. They are asking us to trust in them, regardless of how much pain they are putting us through right now. It is all necessary in order to get us where we need to go. I mean, that’s not such a hard thing to grasp, is it? If it weren’t for all of the pain of your past, you wouldn’t have the vast knowledge that you do now. And without your knowledge now, you cannot make well calculated moves into your future. Burn your fucks in a fire, Heretics, because you are being called to be a warrior for peace. Paradoxical much? Well, the earth is paradox-land, and it couldn’t exist otherwise. A raging river can be rafted properly if one has the competence that comes from the understanding of consequence. Now put to use your lessons, Heretics, for if we were perfect we wouldn’t have to make a climb. And if we didn’t have to make a climb, we wouldn’t have passion and strife. And who the fuck wants to live in ice kingdoms without passion or strife? That, my friends, is the land of the dead. Now, to be or not to be, that is the question, is it not? And to be, we must teeter from one side to the other. The tic and toc of time, of movement, of life itself…
Jupiter, Neptune and Pluto– What? The three brothers are together, and WORKING IN UNISON? I’d say Heaven help us but I’m not sure that would be enough- Especially since the only one who is in direct motion right now is Neptune! I’ve actually been thinking about Neptune a lot lately, and how more than anything, he wields far more power than I’ve ever given him credit for- Neptune is the one who is always pulling the strings in your life, secretly guiding and molding you by merit of his machinations. From the shadows, he is working both sides of this lunation, keeping them at each others’ throat and ensuring that he comes out on top.
While Neptune plots and schemes, Jupiter is down on his luck, vulnerable and desperate- and so are you. Neptune seeks to take advantage of this, and use Jupiter’s glory and talent as the vehicle to his success by selling Jupiter a dream of grandeur. If you’ll remember I said that Neptune is the savior of Jupiter back in the retrograde post, and that is certainly how Jupiter sees him; But what does salvation mean to you? What dreams are you being sold?
On the other hand we have Pluto- He is solid in his placement, but he is looking forward towards the future. He knows his position as King of the Hill is not a permanent one, and his legacy is in question. He fears the future and he is living in the past- But when he turns his attention back to the present he is a veritable force of nature. He doesn’t seem to realize that his indolence and being paralyzed by fear of the future will cause the darkest timeline to assert itself- and not in the way he usually likes.
Neptune may be a manipulative and sleazy asshole, but he is the only one who can harness the powers of both Jupiter and Pluto, and get them to work together for the common good- and yours! If you stick to your vision and do not allow doubt to distract you, then there is no way that you can fail. Neptune realizes that Jupiter and Pluto are the answers to each others problems, and if he can soothe the warring gods, and the warring forces in yourself then you will succeed.
(Minor Planets used: Sila-Nunam, Teharonhiawako, Cyllarus, Requiem)
Jupiter (7 of Pentacles), Neptune (5 of Wands), Pluto (7 of Swords)- Come at this lunation swinging, Heretics, for it will be swinging right back at you. If you have been sitting on your ass, you are going to need to act. The New Moon in Aries spurred a fire in your belly, and now you must take action with the epiphany you earned. It’s not enough to talk about all the things you want to do. You must actually get out there and do them, and this can be terrifying. The thing is, this combination doesn’t care if you are ready or not. So slap on some bravery, because the monsters are coming to your door – yes, those monsters that you have been avoiding and hoping desperately that they will go away. This moon will bring a lot of volatile energy into your life, but it is because it is forcing you to play the diplomat. You must settle the score so that you can tip in the next direction – so that there can be life and growth and so that you can move the fuck on. If you just take a moment to stand still in the middle of the full moon battlefield, you will learn that you can feel the rhythm of the zeitgeist. You will be able to sense, quite instinctively (thanks Aries season) where you must go next – what you must say next. The only real question is, are you going to have the guts to go there?
Sometimes we must go into scary, murky places in order to emerge with eminence. Afraid to transform? Afraid of the fight? Well, fuck, Persephone was having a grand old time picking flowers before Pluto kidnapped her and sucked her into the underworld. It doesn’t matter what you want, Heretics, transformation is not a choice in the end. Don’t let the forces around you choose for you where and how you want to transform. In the end, you must learn the lesson of being the master of your own fate. If you don’t step up to the plate and take a swing at the divine game, you’ll always suffering under the thumb of perceived “bad fate.” Again, Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you. How many times do you have to learn the same god damn lessons before you decide to step outside of your comfort and fix the damned thing?