Juno Retrograde: Escort

“All women sell sex; most of them just don’t take cash (nor do they each sell to more than one ‘client’ at a time).” – Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Effective Dates: May 10th- August 27th 2017 (In Shadow til October 10th 2017)

Show of hands, who all has had it with all of this relationship and love Astro, and is ready to pack up and run away to a monastery until Saturn moves into Aquarius? Yeah, I thought so. Okay so, with Venus Retrograde, Sappho Retrograde, Jupiter Retrograde in Libra, Eros in Gemini, and god knows what else I’m forgetting, the last thing on this earth we need is more love drama- BUT GUESS WHAT WE’RE IN FOR! That’s right boys and girls, saddle up because get to go a round with Juno: Queen of Heaven, ruler of personal power and relationships, specifically marriage and fidelity. She has been running through Capricorn, sign of commitment and dedication, but this retrograde will call of the structures you hold dear in your relationships into question.

Okay so on her best day, Juno is difficult- She’s goddamn Cersei Lannister, for chrissakes. With all the rest of it though? It’s enough to drive a guy to celibacy (not to mention drink)! Of course, the more likely expression will be the opposite- With this retrograde, we will seek the love in others that we deny to ourselves, wherever (and with whomever) we can find it. You will be more aware of the lack of love in your life, and its absence will feel almost palpable to you. This can cause us to make… mistakes. Desperation can make a girl do crazy things! At this point though- will anything less than crazy do?

This one will be harder for those of us already in relationships, but only because us pathetically single folks have already grown accustomed to wallowing in our misery. You partnered folks will see the cracks in your relationships in the form of fears, specifically of infidelity. These may be valid, but don’t act on them unless you have proof, especially not if you are of the “The best revenge is getting even” school, because THAT will blow up in your face. If you are the one being tempted to cheat, then ask yourself these questions:

What is it about this person that I can’t find in my current relationship?
Can I get that with some changes, or by speaking up about my needs?
Has my relationship just run its course?

Honestly, just taking a moment to stop and ask these questions of yourself should be enough to tell you what you need, regardless of the answers.

For all the single ladies (ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!) and gentlemen out there, we get a different challenge- we get to wonder why in the world we are still single, ugly and unlovable. Obviously not all of these are true at all times (You’re all beautiful! Yes, especially YOU in particular. Call me sometime) BUT your mind and heart will not see it that way. You will be focused on what you don’t have; meanwhile you will see nothing but happy, paired couples everywhere doing cute things, and nothing will infuriate you more than that.

This retrograde will isolate you, leaving you feeling like you have no one to fall back on or talk to, and being alone in your relationships is a terrible thing to feel. With this isolation, you will have plenty of time to think: Thinking about your past, your failed relationships and how you failed them and yourself. At the end of the day, you have to face an unpleasant truth: Quite a bit of the unpleasantness that you deal with comes from your own fuck-ups in love. If you can face that head-on, then you can move forward and find the happiness that you seek. If not, then you will be waiting inside your ivory tower on a handsome prince to come rescue you until you do- and let me tell you it gets real boring in there, real quick.

 Artemis (Cards: 5 of Pentacles, 3 of Swords, 10 of Cups ) –  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I create drama in my own relationship. I am so use to hostility, from a very young age, that living without it makes me feel naked and on edge. If I’m not constantly fighting, then I don’t feel like things are “normal,” and that in itself is incredibly troubling. The only way to deal with bad cycles like this is to turn on your heal and face it head on, and that is exactly what Juno in Rx is going to do – turn the fuck around and actually LOOK. Juno Retrograde forces us to review our ideas about what commitment means, why we have the power struggles that we do in our relationships, and about sacrifice and loyalty in partnership. Essentially, what does it mean to be good to your partner? There is an art to this, and one can never become an artist without attention to detail.

We don’t usually have full clarity on something until it is gone, and then after it’s gone we need to go through a time of anguish before realizing it took two to tango and that no relationship ending is the fault of just one individual. At some point, we need to be humbled, and that’s not a fun fucking process at all. No one wants to be made to feel like shit when the other person clearly treated them like shit as well, and no one wants to think they weren’t all they could be in a relationship. But fuck, we keep things hanging on when they should end, and we end some things abruptly because of our own fear and insecurities. Our timing is fucking horrible. We introduce old toxic behaviors because we have become habituated to them. And we don’t apologize. We don’t do the “shadow work” required. We don’t look at our own projections; we don’t humble ourselves, and isn’t that one of the tenants of love? To humble thyself  – to show thyself raw and true?

It’s hard to move on. Even when you are the one who is ready to make peace, the other may not be. We need to learn to keep that peace within ourselves so we can move on to our new partnerships and friendships with a clear heart and mind. If we introduce the toxicity of the past, the insecurities, fragility, and the old habits of our past partner that we carbon copy onto our new, then we kill the love before it has a chance to thrive. We then just mimic a relationship without really having a relationship. The key to the thing is right in it’s name – RELATE. One must communicate, mirror, and process. But I get it, it’s hard to do this if you are not with someone who is willing to give you loyalty. If you do not have commitment and loyalty, it is hard to dive into the well of your heart and purge your demons. That whole process is a bit terrifying for people, and thus commitment sounds like the worst word in the world. But the thing is, when you have safe structures around you – only then can you let the poison of the past out. How can you heal when you are afraid of abandonment? So Juno asks, why do you invite people into your life who cannot truly be there for you? Why do you commit to the people that you commit to? What are you trying to re-live?

Our cycles in relationships will be examined like crazy right now – especially after a rough Venus in Retrograde season is just about over. This is the perfect time to work past  your old relationship trauma, to make peace, to destroy the patterns so that they do not destroy what is precious to you right now, and to realize that your habituated behaviors come out even when you don’t think they do. If you expect your partner to deal with your purging, you must also help them deal with their’s. A commitment goes both ways, so question why you are not willing to go all out for them if they are for you (or vice versa if they are the one who isn’t reaching across the isle). Why are you spinning in one place, forever trapped in the habits of the past? What is it you really need to work through? What insecurity is really driving those fights that you and your partner continuously have? It’s time to nip it in the bud before it rots the whole plant.  It’s time for some honesty. It’s time to be humble and to be true. Because you love them… don’t you?

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