Effective Dates: December 5th, 2017- Apr 17, 2018 (Aries Ingress)
Helios on that asshole Chiron– I should be asleep right now. I should be in dreamland, fighting epic battles and saving damsels (or dudes, I’m not sexist) in distress. Unfortunately for me, when I stop writing the voices come back and demand that I write the stories of the stars for you- but I’m only doing it out of spite. Also, I know this is belated. Bite me.
I was laying there in bed, with my Gemini brain that just will not quit; It was telling me the most terrible things, but they were only terrible because they were the truth, and it is horrifying. My brain decided to take this moment to rehash each and every one of my failures to make a real relationship work. How I deserved each of them to fail, and that is was my fault. It brought into focus that I have avoided sex for this entire year, and how I have closed myself off to the world, hiding away and drowning myself in my work. My brain also framed my redeeming qualities as negatives as well, like how my naive optimism causes me to shoot for unattainable goals resulting in my inevitable disappointment when I fail to hit them; and how when I want something (okay, when I want someONE) I put all of my energy and passion into the effort, and it paradoxically turns people off and causes me to suffer. I have had more than 400 relationships and loves (I stopped keeping track years ago) and yet I have been unable to make any of them work. “What in the hell is so wrong with me?“, I asked
I then remembered Chiron had turned direct, and this was his doing.
You see, we as astrologers have been entirely too kind to Chiron. We have called him a teacher, a “rainbow bridge”, or at worst a wound. Well, Chiron is none of those things- Chiron is a gaping pit in your stomach, a void that will never be filled. The pit is filled with your worst fears, but underneath those fears is what you want more than anything. You will never reach it because your nightmares will tear you limb from limb if you ever attempt it. Chiron is the dull ache that you experience whenever you see anyone else looking happy and fulfilled. Chiron is envy, Chiron is want. As for the whole teaching thing? Chiron is a sadist- He revels in our suffering and those who call him a teacher just like how the whip feels on their skin.
Since he has gone Direct for the last time before he goes into Pisces, expect to see every single heartbreak, lesson, and failure that you have experienced from 2010 to rear its ugly head again. Chiron is designed to hurt us and to be pain itself. Chiron is your own personal hell. You can look to your own placements to see how this will affect you; For instance, mine is in Cancer, in my Seventh House. This means that I will always crave the sense of belonging that comes from feeling the love of a family, and I will always seek out relationships to fulfill that need. What I will always find is isolation and rejection. The need is mine, and so is the failing. For me, Hell is being trapped by my own shitty decisions and how I push away those who seek to care about me.
Chiron will drive us to the edge as he wraps up his stay in Pisces. We are tired, we have lost hope, and that has driven us to question whether we should go on. We are walking zombies, just waiting… for something to happen, to wake us up. I’d like to hope that Chiron in Aries will be that wakeup call, but I worry that it will be an incredibly rude awakening to a nightmare world, one that we could have avoided. The Chirotic process is incredibly personal, and is a weak spot in your armor- it is designed to be where you are vulnerable. Hopefully, by my airing out my closet I am able to help someone out there cope with theirs. Then the emo ranting will be worth it.
Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed. Night y’all