Juno in Pisces: Visions in the Mist

“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” – David Sedaris

Effective Dates: February 23rd- April 27th, 2018

Helios’ Astrological Angle on Juno in Pisces– Okay so, first of all, breathe. You are not alone in your love weirdening right now. We all seem to be lost in this hazy limbo when it comes to who and what we want, and like most things, we can blame all the nonsense in Pisces.

You see, Juno, asteroid queen of Marriage, Power, Relationships and the concept of Monarchy itself, is joining all the other planets in Pisces- the sign of confusion, mystery, weirdness and everything that isn’t taken by the other signs. Now, it is a known fact that I am opposed to the mere concept of Pisces in general, mostly because I loathe wooliness and confusion; I like clarity, clear-cut parameters, and concision. So clearly, I am super excited about this happening. Add to that the fact that I have never been one who is successful in relationships, and this is a nightmare for me.

But you’re not here to hear about me and my misadventures in love, you’re here to hear about how this will affect you! Well, the cold hard truth is that you have become disillusioned in love, due to being hurt too many times before. Like, twelve times too many. Of course, you could have avoided that if you had just stayed away from the fuckboi who ignores you until 3 am, 2 weeks later. You chased after his problematic ass, though- and here we are. You, sad, and drinking two bottles of wine a night and running out of money (which may or may not be due to the aforementioned wine habit). So you have closed yourself off from romance and relationships, relegating yourself to the safety of your apartment that you never have to leave and where no one can hurt you.

Unfortunately, Juno isn’t going to let you take that option. See, Juno loves to meddle, and control the lives of those she “favors” (ask Heracles about that!). Juno always thinks she knows best, and with her allies in Pisces, she is going to demand that you get back out there and believe again. Yes- the sappy, full-on fairytale type of romance. That’s what Juno wants for your jaded ass, she wants you to do cute things like brunch and holding hands on the beach while you run for the instagram selfie. She wants you to have someone with you, being alone is not enough right now.

The thing is, she’s right and you know it. You want that, it’s just due to your pain and your baggage that you have convinced yourself that you no longer need it. You’ve bought into your hype that you are tough, and above all this lovey-dovey nonsense. But deep down you know that you are lonely, and tired of no one checking in on you, or giving you good morning texts (or nudes, the 21st century is weird). You are going to be offered a chance to experience real, honest to god love, where something deeper can develop. You are going to have the chance at a true partnership, someone who has your back and your bond will make the both of you stronger.

The challenge is that you will also be presented with what seems like an army of fuckboi/girls on your horizon. It’ll be up to you to determine which one will be the real deal, and which ones are not worth their weight in manure. Do not accept shitty treatment just because some of them claim to love you- love that comes with a fist or neglect is not love, and you deserve better. You are going to need to be solid in your emotions and connected to your heart to make this work, but that is the point of Pisces season anyway.

Keep your head held high, and your heart wholly open. You can do this, I promise.

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