Full Moon Capricorn: Heavy

“One of the greatest evils is the foolishness of a good man. For the giving man to withhold helping someone in order to first assure personal fortification is not selfish, but to elude needless self-destruction; martyrdom is only practical when the thought is to die, else a good man faces the consequence of digging a hole from which he cannot escape, and truly helps no one in the long run.” ― Mike Norton

Effective Date: June 28th 2018

Helios’ Astrological Angle for the Full Moon in Capricorn– Is it just me or is this one of the hardest Cancer seasons we’ve had in about a decade? Well, four planets retrograde with three more getting ready to back it up more or less guarantee that, so it tracks. Not to mention, this is officially the prelude to a three-act eclipse season! Are any of us even close to ready for that? Well, no, but when has that stopped the cosmos before?

The Sun & Moon, Mars, and Saturn– This lunations’ central theme rings out strongly, and its one you have to get right: This Full Moon is going to be about survival. Not exactly an easy task anymore, I know. This life… it gets more difficult every day, and we have to face the fact that our future looks incredibly terrifying and bleak. In fact, there is the incredibly real possibility that every day is as good as it will get for us, and our future is one of diminishing returns (in regards to happiness anyway). At that point, we are left with a question, and it isn’t one that any of us want to face, but we have to- Is it even worth it to keep going?

Look I know you are all exhausted- I am too; Each day I wake up and wonder what new terrifying and horrific thing I have to see. I don’t have anything to be happy about anymore, just things that can distract me from the gaping maw of horror that is the future. I know I’m not alone in this, because my inbox is full of people struggling with the same emotions, and trying to find a reason to have it make sense. You have all been fighting and struggling for so long and you deserve your reward, your great rest, where you can finally lay down your sword and actually live. The truth I have to break to you is- there isn’t going to be a rest. You don’t get to stop fighting, because if you stop you die.

You are going to have to dig deep. Find a reason to keep going, to stay in the game. Make sure your reason is something that echoes out strongly in your heart, and gives you the courage to face the day, no matter what it brings. It might be a person, a cause, a mission…. hell it can be pure spite- just stay in the game as long as you can. I’m sorry that I don’t have anything better than that to give you, but this time it’s all I have.

Minor Planets used: Orcus, Orius, Atropos, Hygiea, Pandora, Persephone, Tantalus, Dionysius

Mercury, Chiron, and Uranus– No easy way to say this one either- Anxiety, mental illness, self-sabotage…. its all going to increase for this lunation, and carry over into eclipse season. You are going to torture yourself and be a slave to your hardest memories as they play out like a movie marathon. You may even find yourself repeating the lines out loud to yourself without realizing it, trapped in the loop of your memories.

The worst part of this crew coming together though? The loneliness and isolation. You have the gut reaction to internalize this as you rake yourself over the coals. Why bother anyone with your crap? After all, you know you’re not worth their time and they have better things to do than waste time worrying over you, right? This is what you tell yourself and it is a lie. Being alone is death. Find someone who can support you, it is not weakness to call out in the dark for a helping hand. The other side of this is that you also need to help those who reach out to you, in whatever way they ask for. I know that you don’t feel like you are in a place to help anyone due to feeling so broken and used up, but I promise you can. Someone out there needs you, and what you have gone through can help someone else. Stay open and don’t get lost in your own self-flagellation or guilt.

Minor Planets used: Ceres, Juno, Vesta, Makemake, Logos, Rhadamanthus, Sedna, Ixion, Quaoar, Typhon, Aphidas, Toro, Phaethon, Askalaphus, Terpsichore

Venus, Jupiter, Neptune, and Pluto– SO. What the hell do you actually do with all of this? How is any of this actionable? Well, its not- This moon is a defensive one. The game is king of the hill, and the universe is trying to knock you down by destroying the hill under you. Everything you care about, hold dear- everything that would normally be your strength, what you draw on to keep going- is under assault right now and is actually weighing you down. When it falls away from you and the ground opens up under your feet, you need to go deeper and find YOUR reason to live, the reason you exist and keep fighting. Rage won’t be enough, and neither will duty or obligation. You will have to dive deep into your soul, and I’m sorry because this will be an awful experience. You will be up against yourself in a fight for your very existence. Only one version of you will make it out, but which one that is is entirely up to you and which one wants to live more. Unfortunately, the best parts of you might not make it out of this eclipse season. You will be forced to sacrifice part of yourself to move on, and you have to be the one to make the cut. The choice will be between the version of you that has gone through the Cardinal Crisis and beyond- tired, scarred and full of regret but wiser and kinder; or who you were before all of this- raw, self-interested, and unkind but happy and strong.

This is not one of those times when you can synthesize and find a middle ground. This calls for polarization, and which way you go will determine your path through these eclipses and beyond. Choose wisely, Heretics.

Minor Planets used: Psyche, Eros, Anteros, Mors-Somnus, Ceto, Praamzius, Amycus, Hidalgo, Sappho, Kassandra, Arachne, Panacea, Sauer, Sisyphus, Bacchus

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