Effective Dates: July 5th- December 9th, 2018
Helios on yet another godforsaken Retrograde- Oh good, yet another one to deal with. Chiron, immortal Centaur and teacher, has decided to teach us a new lesson. Unfortunately, he has decided to do this by literally throwing his lesson plan out the window, going into a seizure in the front of the class, and he has started speaking in tongues. As this is of course also taking place in the backdrop of the eclipses, the classroom is actually a train car that has run off the rails and is about to go careening over a cliff. Also, it’s on fire for some reason.
Now, Chiron had just gotten into Aries, the headstrong sign of grit, energy, and chutzpah after a long, long, long droll and dreary stay in Pisces where we learned a million different ways to self-flagellate over every minute detail of our innumerable fuck-ups. Hell, I cheered when he did this because it meant we could finally, FINALLY, move on emotionally and stop wallowing in our own pain and guilt. Unfortunately, Chiron deciding to back his horse ass up in the heavens means that we’re going back into that place.
The good news is that this is the last time, at least this revolution. The bad news is it’s just as bad as you remember. You’re about to re-enter your bespoke personal hell, revisiting all of the worst traumas of your life, and your fears and brain are going to try to trick you into believing that you are the worst creature imaginable and that you are not even deserving of redemption. Your fears will loom large in your psyche, and you will be going back on the rack. Don’t linger too long on those old pains though- This is a mission, after all.
That’s right- we have a purpose for coming back here and we need to avoid all of the pitfalls that we can so we can make our objective. This trip we will be diving right into the heart of our hell, into the very deepest waters of our psyche. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to heal the root cause of the issue you are tormenting yourself over. To find out what this is, look to the house where you have Pisces in your chart. The only way to do heal the root cause is to face your pain and forgive yourself.
Now, this is harder than it sounds, like most of the missions I end up relaying to y’all. Those pitfalls I mentioned are going to be really, really hard to avoid. You are going to walk back in that place, and you are going to remember how it felt- and the pain will be a sweet siren call back to torturing yourself. You will find it very hard to resist that oh-so-familiar hurt. Don’t fall victim to the reveries, just let the emotions and memories pass. Feel them and let them go. Coat your soul in teflon, you’re going to be racing the clock on this one.
The much more dangerous pitfall is the tendency to isolate yourself and escape into your own little world. This transit will ramp up your feelings of worthlessness and will make self-love difficult. Combine that with the self-flagellating reveries of pains gone by and you have a feedback loop of disaster. You are going to want to run and hide from the external world while you navigate your internal landscape. I’m sorry to tell you that you aren’t going to be able to, and you shouldn’t do that anyway- You’ve done enough drowning in your own self-pity. Find some way to express what you are doing internally, and share the stories of your pain. As I have discovered, people will listen and they want to hear from you. After all, the greatest illusion that Chiron in Pisces presents is that we have to hide who we are inside for our loved ones to love us back. Share your stories, even if its just with your uber driver at 3 am after you spent the night out at a bar feeling unloved but hating every second of being out.
And remember, this mission is to rescue the little bit of yourself that you left behind last time- take care not to linger or you’ll be trapped again when the gate shuts and Chiron moves back into Aries.
Clocks ticking Heretics. Good hunting.