“Hell was not a pit of fire and brimstone. Hell was waking up alone, the sheets wet with your tears and your seed, knowing the woman you had dreamed of would never come back to you.” ―
Effective Dates: September 10th, 2018- January 8th, 2019 (Retrograde October 6th- November 16th 2018)
Helios on the Worst Fucking Retrograde of 2018– OF FUCKING COURSE. See, APPARENTLY its not enough that we have had every retrograde ever, grinding us into the dirt, with major planets like Uranus and Chiron shifting signs and our entire paradigm, but NOW we get to have one last one to close out the marathon of suck- And its goddamn Venus.
This is not going to be one of those ones where I try and play nice with Venus, oh no- This is one of those times where its all we can do to survive the bitch. Here’s the deal, heretics; The Planet of Romance, Pleasure and Beauty (read: NOT LOVE) is entering Scorpio, the sign of her detriment (read: badly placed, being opposite the sign she rules) and will be going retrograde in it. The last Venus retrograde was bad enough, and almost killed us then BUT NOW we have this nonsense and its about to be even worse, mainly because She will be joined by Jupiter in Scorpio as well, and making a lot of weird oppositions to Uranus (hehehehe).
So. What should you expect from this shitshow? Well, first of all, expect the power of Scorpio to bring ancient, undead loves back from the dead on a worse scale than Mercury Retrograde– trouble is, what was once hot and fun is now necrotic and rotting. Any and every unlearned lesson in love is fair game right now, and the person you are thinking of when I say this WILL inevitably come back to haunt your DM’s. Expect the worst because I promise its coming. Uranus’ influence will bring people you never thought you would see in a million years back to you- people who moved across the country without telling you beforehand but still saying they loved you, people you haven’t spoken to in a decade who confess they’ve always been attracted to you…. that sort of thing. Hang in there, because its going to be messy and weird.
To make matters worse, you will feel scrutinized by every single person around, with your every flaw on full display for all to judge. This will not be a comfortable transit. Beautiful is not something that you will be able to identify with, feeling more like an ancient eldritch horror complete with a mass of tentacles and other wriggly bits. My advice on that front is just embrace your inner swamp monster and aim to elevate it to a Morticia Adams. This may or may not help you keep the idiot exes at bay- When in doubt, freak ’em out!
Of course that’s not all- you’re going to have to deal with feelings of despair and total isolation from everything good in your life and everything that brings you the merest iota of joy. This will be rough, and will push you into a very dark place mentally. Self-flagellation and raking yourself over the coals for every mistake you have made in your life and in love will become your norm. It’s important to remember that you are your own harshest critic right now. You will be tempted to go overboard on any vice that helps make you feel less hollow inside. You are going to feel ugly, alone, and most of all unlovable- There’s no getting around that. I will however tell you that this transit is going to be an ending. Everything that comes up for you now needs to be put to rest- permanently. See, what this transit is going to be great for is untangling yourself from any of those murky attachments that you cant seem to get rid of. You need to be reminded of all of those who didn’t see your beautiful soul and didn’t truly love you so that you can learn how to love yourself.
Hang in there guys- What’s ahead of us is better than the false paradise behind us. Keep moving.
Want to know what this transit is going to bring for you specifically? Well, good news- I have a special Venus Retrograde consult available! Message me to book yours now!